The MK stomach....

I lack it! I am quite sick as I write this blog. If you want to know detail.....email me and I will let you know! Any how, we went to an artisan market today. I made some friends and I actually made friends with one woman who let me sit in her shop cause I was feeling so bad. Molda was her name, I think. I write today with a heavy heart. This past week we have had the greet opportunity to work at the refugee camp. On Friday I was told that I would not being go back, because I have other projects that they have been planned for me while I am here. I tried really hard not to, but I started to cry. Is it selfish to want to go to visit the refugee camp? I think it might be. Any how, our supervisor noticed that I was crying and told me that I would go back. I felt kind of lame, like the crybaby that gets her way. But I was thrilled! Then as we walked into church today we were told we could not go back at all because the Somalian side of camp had been closed, by the Somalians. Here is the scope. The refugees have asked the UN to step in, and last week some one came in who was titled as the UN representative, the only problem was that they were really a Red Cross rep. When the truth came out the Somalians were so upset and a little bit of violence broke out and they closed the camp to any volunteers, which seem like self destruction but when no one will listen and the issue is urgent I guess extreme measures are necessary. There is not much happening at the moment, but people are on edge! Any how, at first I was angry that we weren't allowed back in. Then I was frustrated with the government for their broken promises and lack of action. then I thought of ways I might get into the camp! Then I found my self upset with God. Not because I could not go back but because this never stops. God where are you? As I battled it out with God the pastor began to talk about the good that was happening in the camp. And then I remembered that all we have received from God is unmerited. Meaning, that the sin in my life deserves death but every day of life and the promise of eternal life are signs of God's grace. This was a good thing to remember and put somethings in perspective. The phrase "God is in control" still irks me and there are more words I would like to share with Him but I am always singing that I will praise Him the good and bad and now that the bad is here I cannot go back on what I have claimed to be true, but it is hard to feel like praising God when I know what is going on in the camp. I end this note angry with the situation SA is in, but I am also reminded that I prayed for the opportunity to serve "hands-on" and that has been given to me. What is the next move? Prayer....(grumble grumble). In a generation that has lost the value of prayer I must trust in the strength in prayer. I need a better attitude-shocker!